Those chemicals have got to him
Bizarre behaviour. If he were female I'd attribute his peculiar behaviour to the hormones, PMT and it being That Time Of The Month.
He's been doing housework. Yes really. Not ordinary housework though, oh no. That involves what my grandfather referred to has Elbow Grease. Elbow Grease = hard work and that is absolutely a No-No on Planet Fat Bastard.
On Planet Fat Bastard when there's housework to be done wait until it demands an heroic gesture and then perform said heroic gesture with the aid of Serious Chemicals*. God alone knows how much ozone he's depleted today, how many centigrade the mean temperature will rise as a consequence of him deploying some unholy chemical cocktail on our kitchen floor and stair case, innumerable are the species that have vanished from the planet in the cause of a clean kitchen floor, the North Atlantic cod stock certainly was obliterated this afternoon.
But we have a clean kitchen floor.
*Let me make it abundantly clear, Ladies and Gentlemen, that the chemicals herein referred to are not by any means general household chemicals of the type or in combinations freely available on supermarket shelves up and down the country. The chemicals to which I refer are INDUSTRIAL grade chemical compounds, no less, and subject to certain constraints as to their distribution and deployment that are not applied to standard grade domestic chemical weaponry.
He's been doing housework. Yes really. Not ordinary housework though, oh no. That involves what my grandfather referred to has Elbow Grease. Elbow Grease = hard work and that is absolutely a No-No on Planet Fat Bastard.
On Planet Fat Bastard when there's housework to be done wait until it demands an heroic gesture and then perform said heroic gesture with the aid of Serious Chemicals*. God alone knows how much ozone he's depleted today, how many centigrade the mean temperature will rise as a consequence of him deploying some unholy chemical cocktail on our kitchen floor and stair case, innumerable are the species that have vanished from the planet in the cause of a clean kitchen floor, the North Atlantic cod stock certainly was obliterated this afternoon.
But we have a clean kitchen floor.
*Let me make it abundantly clear, Ladies and Gentlemen, that the chemicals herein referred to are not by any means general household chemicals of the type or in combinations freely available on supermarket shelves up and down the country. The chemicals to which I refer are INDUSTRIAL grade chemical compounds, no less, and subject to certain constraints as to their distribution and deployment that are not applied to standard grade domestic chemical weaponry.
posted by Enyo @ 10:52 pm
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