A very long suicide note

Well there you go.

While he was out at work G called. I finally 'fessed to venting a little in this way and after much nagging and undignified whining from her quarter I've given in and told her where to find this.

Her opening gambit was "you have heard of 'the longest suicide note in history', haven't you?"; to which my answer was of course, because I'm many things but not politically illiterate.

To that she came back with "well I think it has some competition".

G's view is that SHE wouldn't know about this or even suspect this without getting in contact with the Fat Bastard, even if they are otherwise separated. And he wouldn't be able to maintain equilibrium in the face of this provocation.

So now G confidently expects me to end up under the paving slabs that make up the patio area in the back garden. She promises faithfully to contact the police if she hasn't heard from or seen me for a couple of days at a stretch ...

how nice to have some faithfulness in my life and relationships.