The Matthew Parris Take

That John Prescott, after appearing in newspaper photographs with a lady’s (sic) legs wrapped around this massive neck should be rewarded with confiscation of everything but the dignified part of his office is a joy. That Margaret Beckett after failing comprehensively as an agriculture minister to deliver EU payments to farmers should be put in charge of the whole of British foreign policy is divine. That Jack Straw, one of the diminishing band of senior ministers who doesn’t seem to have done anything wrong recently should be the biggest loser is
priceless.

That the Secretary of State for Defence should become the Home Secretary because the former Foreign Secretary has been Home Secretary already and can’t really be Home Secretary again, while he (the Defence Secretary) has already been Health Secretary and can’t be Health Secretary again, and the Leader of the House (who can’t be Defence Secretary because he already has been, but needs to vacate his post so the former Foreign Secretary can have it) has a new “European” portfolio invented for him – and everyone immediately begins arguing about whether he is a Secretary of State for Europe or not – suggests a Cabinet maker running out of timber.

This is an extract from a longer Comment Page piece by former Conservative MP Matthew Parris which you can read in full here.