'Should I' or 'How Do I' Tell my wife about my Affair

It seems this blog turns up in the results of a search on the words "tell, wife, about and affair".

Well first of all, give her a bit more credit, she probably knows. She probably knows whether or not you want her to know, and you probably do.

If you're trying to find out whether she's most likely to

• do you with the carving knife there and then, or
• do you with the blunt instrument while you sleep later tonight, or
• slip some rat poison into a meal at some later date, or
• have a retaliatory affair (though she's probably already done this if it is her most likely response), or
• hire a divorce lawyer and take you to the cleaners, or
• move you into the spare bedroom and throw half-heated tv dinners at your head for the rest of your natural life

then you are a prize idiot.

Any 'man' worthy of that epithet (as opposed to 'decent human being') has already planned to tell her some place other than the kitchen, given away his cricket/baseball bat, locked the garden shed, beaten the lover in a round or three of golf or over a business deal and engaged the best divorce lawyer in town (just in case) on whose advice he's moved the moveable assets into an offshore account she'd have to bankrupt herself to get access to.

So if she’s feeding you, doing the housework, doing your washing and ironing, paying the bills and raising your children show some gratitude and leave her to know about your seedy little sideline in peace.

But if you really are fucking around and still screwing your wife (literally, as opposed to in every other sense) have the decency to wear a condom when slumming it or otherwise being taken by a ride by the bit on the side.