Blog etiquette...
I've been carping recently about shoddy English driving and the Shoddy English education system and most recently about the declining standards of social intercourse, particularly in more formal situations.
Which is a round about way of saying that I sounded off a few days ago on the execrable telephone manners I have to endure on pretty much a daily basis.
I work in a supermarket. People phone up. Members of the general public phone up to ask if we stock something in particular or if we have something in stock or to complain. Colleagues from other stores and from head office for a wide variety of reasons. Suppliers ring up, potential suppliers cold call us. Then staff receive calls ... and my job means I'm one of a handful of people most likely to be near the phone when it rings. So I answer it.
I posted a question on telephone etiquette a day or so ago here, and your comments would be more than welcome.
Now it turns out that Anonymous has commented. Far be it for me to appear ungrateful that a passing caller has taken the time to read the post and compose a comment, which after all is precisely what I'd requested. And responding to my request with an anonymous reply might be a finely crafted exercise in irony or something...
On the question of anonymity in blogging I should (re) lay my cards on the table. The cast of villainous characters about whom I vent or pontificate or on whom I shower random sprays of pity include my big, fat, mean spirited, drunken, thieving, cheating, feckless and generally thoroughly rotten husband. I don't particularly wish to provoke him and some of the stuff I get off my chest by posting here would undoubtedly provoke him.
I mention in passing my daughter in the course of my postings and I've got an obligation above all else to protect her, both from any rage I might other wise provoke and from involuntary publicity; I've no right to make her a public figure against her wishes. She can become a celebrity in her own right in the fullness of time if she so wishes.
I mention the mother-in-law who was from hell but is now seriously ill. However she brought him up if he were man enough he wouldn't lie and cheat and steal and use people up the way he does.
I mention the Fool in Philadelphia, the unfortunate and thoroughly deluded 'other woman'. He conned me, he's got her believing his lies. The only grudge I have in respect of her is that she didn't make a bigger push to get him to fuck off to the USA and live there with her; leaving me in peace.
So I'm in no position to demand candour of visitors. But anonymous comments leave me unable to learn anything of those who pass through and are moved to comment.
Probably this isn't a question of manners or etiquette; just me being frustrated that I can't reciprocate the visit by Anonymous.
Which is a round about way of saying that I sounded off a few days ago on the execrable telephone manners I have to endure on pretty much a daily basis.
I work in a supermarket. People phone up. Members of the general public phone up to ask if we stock something in particular or if we have something in stock or to complain. Colleagues from other stores and from head office for a wide variety of reasons. Suppliers ring up, potential suppliers cold call us. Then staff receive calls ... and my job means I'm one of a handful of people most likely to be near the phone when it rings. So I answer it.
I posted a question on telephone etiquette a day or so ago here, and your comments would be more than welcome.
Now it turns out that Anonymous has commented. Far be it for me to appear ungrateful that a passing caller has taken the time to read the post and compose a comment, which after all is precisely what I'd requested. And responding to my request with an anonymous reply might be a finely crafted exercise in irony or something...
On the question of anonymity in blogging I should (re) lay my cards on the table. The cast of villainous characters about whom I vent or pontificate or on whom I shower random sprays of pity include my big, fat, mean spirited, drunken, thieving, cheating, feckless and generally thoroughly rotten husband. I don't particularly wish to provoke him and some of the stuff I get off my chest by posting here would undoubtedly provoke him.
I mention in passing my daughter in the course of my postings and I've got an obligation above all else to protect her, both from any rage I might other wise provoke and from involuntary publicity; I've no right to make her a public figure against her wishes. She can become a celebrity in her own right in the fullness of time if she so wishes.
I mention the mother-in-law who was from hell but is now seriously ill. However she brought him up if he were man enough he wouldn't lie and cheat and steal and use people up the way he does.
I mention the Fool in Philadelphia, the unfortunate and thoroughly deluded 'other woman'. He conned me, he's got her believing his lies. The only grudge I have in respect of her is that she didn't make a bigger push to get him to fuck off to the USA and live there with her; leaving me in peace.
So I'm in no position to demand candour of visitors. But anonymous comments leave me unable to learn anything of those who pass through and are moved to comment.
Probably this isn't a question of manners or etiquette; just me being frustrated that I can't reciprocate the visit by Anonymous.
posted by Enyo @ 11:12 am
2 Comments:
At 5:59 pm,
mylifeatfullspeed said…
Your need to not disclose names is different than the need for someone to use proper phone etiquette.
You are trying to protect the people in your life. Primarily your daughter and yourself. I'm doing the same thing. I'm not sure what would happen if he found the blog, but I'm sure it would not be a very pleasant thing.
He once yelled (screamed!) at me for disclosing to his friends that I was paying the bills when we were living together (shoulda seen that red flag, huh??). I'm sure that me dragging his weaknesses all over the internet would really not go over very well.
The people who are calling you don't neccessarily need to tell you who they are (in the case of persons asking if you stock a certain product) but they do need to maintain some level of respect and state their needs courteously and make sure they are in the right department for that question.
It's all a matter of respect, really. Would someone else like someone to call them and blurt out what they need, when they've not any idea what to tell them because they don't work with those products? Or would they like their spouse to tell the whole world their darkest secrets AND use their real name?
The blogging we do is therapy. It's sometimes the only form of therapy we can get, when it's financially impossible and we couldn't get away from our busy schedule even if we could afford it. It's how we keep our souls from dying when we are alone in our world of misery.
And if someone who hasn't been there doesn't like it...they can just move on. There are other worlds than these, I'm sure they'll find a place they can fit in.
At 11:36 pm,
Enyo said…
Hey there again, and once more thank you for the supportive words - particularly welcome as I had such an interesting evening at work.
It hadn't been my intention to conflate the two questions - the first of phone etiquette and the second of blog etiquette, but I was rather struck by the humour of the situation when I get someone commenting on That Post anonymously. I don't need their name, date of birth and National Insurance (your social security) Number... but (and I'm making the assumption here that the commenter is a fellow blogger) their blogger id would have given me the chance to at least say hello back.
This is (sort of) a free country and people who call up of course don't have to give their name. But when they don't, if I go away and then come back (having done a stock look up for example) then I'm reduced saying 'hello blah blah' rather than the 'Hello Mr/Mrs/Miss (or even first name, second name); blah, blah'.
I think it is time for me to face facts. I do have a hang-up in the telphone etiquette department. Perhaps there's therapy for it?
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