Asking for trouble
I just knew that writing a piece late at night on how the Fathers 4 Justice campaign scares me was asking for trouble.
Predictably and notwithstanding the early caveat I included to the effect that I know, I fully accept, that there are good men out there who are on the receiving end of awful behaviour from vindictive former spouses seemingly aided and abetted by the very institutions that notionally exist to provide justice (rather than just the law) in the area of family law I've been told I don't understand.
Well I understand alright. For eight years I've worked frantically to build a future for me and my daughter, I've done so while my access to my family and my friends has been increasingly restricted; I've compromised and sacrificed to fend off the ruthless, feckless and amoral individual who has plundered my bank accounts and generally contributed as little as possible to life in general while thinking nothing of making another woman's life miserable too for the sake of an occasional pulse rate-raising intercontinental illicit leg-over; driven by fear that being alone and impoverished by his depredations I'd lose her completely. I haven't lost her but I've paid an almighty high price in terms of career, self-respect and dignity.
My life can never be what it might have been but for meeting him. This is something I accept. I'll almost certainly now be alone for the rest of my life, I'll never be financially secure. My accomplishments will be fewer than they might have been. But perhaps in some ways I am also stronger, for I know now that I have great resilience, patience, forbearance and endurance. I am a survivor so I don't totally begrudge the things he's robbed me of. Not totally.
Oh and by the way, yesterday's piece should not have been interpreted as an attack on Fathers 4 Justice. It was just one lonely individual's expression of vulnerability and disappointment that a seemingly well intentioned group should lend itself to ridicule with so stupid a stunt as that perpetrated on Saturday night.
Predictably and notwithstanding the early caveat I included to the effect that I know, I fully accept, that there are good men out there who are on the receiving end of awful behaviour from vindictive former spouses seemingly aided and abetted by the very institutions that notionally exist to provide justice (rather than just the law) in the area of family law I've been told I don't understand.
Well I understand alright. For eight years I've worked frantically to build a future for me and my daughter, I've done so while my access to my family and my friends has been increasingly restricted; I've compromised and sacrificed to fend off the ruthless, feckless and amoral individual who has plundered my bank accounts and generally contributed as little as possible to life in general while thinking nothing of making another woman's life miserable too for the sake of an occasional pulse rate-raising intercontinental illicit leg-over; driven by fear that being alone and impoverished by his depredations I'd lose her completely. I haven't lost her but I've paid an almighty high price in terms of career, self-respect and dignity.
My life can never be what it might have been but for meeting him. This is something I accept. I'll almost certainly now be alone for the rest of my life, I'll never be financially secure. My accomplishments will be fewer than they might have been. But perhaps in some ways I am also stronger, for I know now that I have great resilience, patience, forbearance and endurance. I am a survivor so I don't totally begrudge the things he's robbed me of. Not totally.
Oh and by the way, yesterday's piece should not have been interpreted as an attack on Fathers 4 Justice. It was just one lonely individual's expression of vulnerability and disappointment that a seemingly well intentioned group should lend itself to ridicule with so stupid a stunt as that perpetrated on Saturday night.
posted by Enyo @ 7:40 pm
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